Communication Problem

THE COMMUNICATION PROBLEM

“I told them that we might get a massive earthquake that would cause a giant tsunami and wipe out the backup generators! They just wouldn't listen – all they were interested in was the cost of the changes. It was an election year, I think,” the stately Japanese lawmaker was pouring out his exasperation to the other four men gathered in front of the throne. “Why didn't they listen?”

“I hear you, man,” replied Moses, “When I came down from that mountain the first time, they were putting the finishing touches on a huge golden calf, bowing and scraping in holy reverence. It made me so mad I smashed the Commandments and started cursing. After all those miracles, they didn't want to hear 10 simple rules to live by without the constant frustration and bitterness. If it hadn't been for my brother, I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of a rewrite! In the end, the lawyers took over anyway, so it was all for nothing.”

Jesus cleared his throat, “I had the same problem in my day – they weren't able to hear a word I spoke, so I told stories, and learned to delegate. I simplified your list down to the Golden Rule to make it easier for them, but that didn't work. In the end they tried to get rid of me and ignore what I was saying. A few years later, my people were running around pretending to be “special” and getting themselves martyred, so I finally gave up!”

A swarthy fellow in a brilliant white turban shook his head. “I didn't have any better luck with my followers. I thought it would be a good idea to pack explosives in their Idols and blow them up to make the point. Trouble is, everyone got the idea that God liked blowing things up, and they started designing guided missiles and nuclear weapons. If there is any way they can confuse themselves, they'll find it.”

A fat, grinning oriental man laughed and said, “You all give them too much credit. They'll never listen to the truth. I got all my followers to make little statues of me, so when they go through the whole worship thing, I will always have the last laugh!